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How did Jay pretend to change when he really hadn’t? In this episode, Lori asks 11 HARD QUESTIONS to uncover the difference between performing recovery and experiencing true, internal transformation.
Jay answers honestly about the exhausting cycle of surface-level change:
• REHEARSING the “right” answers just to get Lori “off his back” and his prayers becoming “robotic”.
• How he engaged in “SPIRITUAL OLYMPICS” to throw everyone off—including himself.
• The SHOCKING moment a coach uncovered his core, entitled belief about his PURPOSE IN LIFE.
• The “Armchair Meeting of Needs” tactic he used in order to think he had changed.
• How he traded his shovel for a “backhoe” to finally GO DEEPER INTO TRANSFORMATION.
This episode is a must-watch for anyone struggling to BREAK THE CYCLE where one partner performs change without true, internal motivation.
Timestamps
00:00 Rehearsed Answers & Entertainment Confession
00:40 How Did You Pretend to Change?
01:26 Were You Really Close to God?
02:26 What Signs Did You Perform?
05:52 Did You Rehearse Answers to Get Me Off Your Back?
07:27 What Made You Feel Proud (But Wasn’t Real)?
08:28 Armchair Meeting of Needs
09:03 Were Recovery Efforts Just Buying Time?
10:05 How Did You Hide That Change Wasn’t Internal?
10:53 What If Someone Had Taught You Real Tools?
12:53 What Were You Unwilling to Give Up?
13:50 “My Purpose Is to Be Entertained”
15:07 Did Pretending Become More Exhausting?
16:48 Did You Know You Weren’t Really Changing?
19:29 What Would You Have Said If Honest?
22:15 Questions for Viewers + Next Episode
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To Rebuild Trust – https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/
To Recover from Betrayal Trauma – https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/
Guys to Schedule a Free Call with Jay – https://porniskillingme.com/schedule-a-free-intro-call/
To Say Thanks (“Tip Jar”) – https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww
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Who is This Channel For?
If porn addiction has you stuck–whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship–this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay’s porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we’re using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you’re seeking.
#betrayal
#relationships
#pornaddiction
#marriageadvice
#spiritualbypassing #recoverytools #copingmechanisms
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