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The opposite of love is something OTHER THAN HATE. And when Lori stopped crying? That’s when Jay finally got scared.
In this raw 26-minute conversation, Lori ask Jay 12 Questions about what really went through his mind when he saw her crying over his betrayal. His answers reveal the uncomfortable truth about damaged empathy, hardened hearts, and why Lori’s silence terrified him MORE than her tears ever did.
They also cover what EMOTINAL MATURITY is… and isn’t.
What you’ll discover:
• What Jay felt in his body the first time he saw Lori cry (fear, and …)
• When her crying stopped affecting him the same way (damaged empathy)
• Did her tears make him want to just get better at HIDING? (the honest answer)
• The story he told himself to pretend her pain didn’t exist
• The moment she stopped crying and why THAT finally scared him
• Did he feel bad for her… or for how it made him look?
For Partners: If he’s seen your pain through your tears and still nothing changed, this video explains why. Plus, Jay reveals what finally broke through his hardened heart.
For Addicts: This conversation shows the difference between feeling bad about messing up vs. feeling bad for the person you hurt. It also challenges you to see your wife’s tears as a sign of pain instead of a sign of your worth?
Plus: The accounting vs. math analogy that helped Jay understand what Lori needed (and WHY IT DIDN’T LAST).
NOTE: We’re trying a new editing style, going from natural but long to choppier and shorter. (Tell us which you prefer!)
CHAPTERS
00:00 Intro (new editing = choppier.)
01:23 What did you feel when I cried?
06:51 EMOTIONAL MATURITY EQUALS…
08:42 Did you feel bad for me (vs your image)?
11:12 What did you FEEL IN YOUR BODY in the breakthrough moment?
12:20 When did my crying STOP affecting you the same way?
14:58 Did you feel ANNOYED when I cried?
15:33 Did my tears ever make you feel powerful?
18:24 Did you only cry over own feelings… or for me?
19:16 What story did you tell yourself to pretend my pain didn’t exist?
20:16 Did watching me cry make you want to get better at HIDING?
21:15 Did you ever feel bad about NOT feeling bad?
22:37 What was hardest: the emotion or consequences?
24:12 Did it SCARE YOU MORE when I stopped crying (indifference)
25:49 Questions for viewers & Sneak Peek
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To Rebuild Trust – https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/
To Recover from Betrayal Trauma – https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/
Guys to Schedule a Free Call with Jay – https://porniskillingme.com/schedule-a-free-intro-call/
To Say Thanks (“Tip Jar”) – https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww
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Who is This Channel For?
If porn addiction has you stuck–whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship–this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay’s porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we’re using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you’re seeking.
#betrayal
#relationships
#pornaddiction
#marriageadvice
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