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You have told him he is doing enough. That he has achieved enough. And somehow it does not land.
This one is personal for me. Lori had a name for what I used to do when I was stuck comparing myself to other men, and it was not flattering. I still catch myself doing it. This episode is about why your opinion of him does not seem to count when he is in that mindset, what it actually costs you while you wait for him to be satisfied, and the one thing about his value, and yours, that took me way too long to learn.
If you have ever felt like you are competing with a version of him that only exists on social media, or with men he has never even met, this one’s for you.
Part of The Couple Cure’s Storm series. Full companion episode on Storm Ready Men.
Timestamps:
0:00 He ignores you, even when you tell him he’s enough
1:00 What that actually feels like from where you stand
1:23 “Lori called it one upsmanship”
2:54 The sentence underneath it: “I’m failing”
3:14 This was never about Lori
3:24 The richest man on earth, and “just a little bit more”
5:06 What you actually need from him
6:07 The pornography comparison, and why it’s a conversation for you too
8:44 The moment I saw the damage I had done
10:28 We are like $20 bills
12:03 “The version of him you’ve been asking for this whole time”
12:47 What finally moved me
12:53 “You’ve been asking him to stop measuring himself against people who aren’t in the room”
13:04 If you need support right now
13:29 Next: the storm of control
—
Next Steps & Resources:
• Explore the C.U.R.E. Method: https://thecouplecure.com
• Join Storm Ready Men: https://stormreadymen.com
• The Basics of Rebuilding Trust: https://jayandloripyatt.gumroad.com/l/LzMJm
• New to the Channel? Start with our 5 seasons of foundational content here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLitabWxO9iDI1-ByymvBpwaiTB0sozSjL
We want to hear from you—how can we best support you in this new season? Let us know in the comments.
To Say Thanks (“Tip Jar”) – https://buy.stripe.com/28EfZh4vJ4yQbbwg6i57W02
— Who is This Channel For? If your marriage has been impacted by addiction — whether you’re the one struggling or the one carrying the pain — this channel is for you. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay’s compulsive pornography use. We found a way through it. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we help couples find the peace, trust, and connection they’re looking for.
#TheCoupleCure #MarriageHelp #MaleAnger #BetrayalRecovery #MarriageRestoration #RelationshipAdvice #ChristianMarriage #HealingTogether
“Southern Gothic” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
ISRC: USUAN2300004
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