It’s one thing to lay down an addiction, but it needs to be replaced with something more life-giving. This episode is about taking your sobriety further on a daily basis through relationship with God/your Higher Power. We offer practical ways to accomplish this, as well as cautions for rebuilding trust after betrayal, lies and abuse.

Episode Summary:
-Step 11 of the 12-Steps (Increasing your conscious contact with God & praying for HIS will and HIS Power)
-One difference between prayer and meditation
-It’s about living in a surrendered way… daily
-Side note for betrayed partners and this step in the Bible

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro to Step 11 / Jay’s take on how prayer and meditation are different / Ways to meditate***
3:04 Praying for God’s will & surrendering / Conscious contact with God
4:29 One major benefit of meditation / How Lori did this the previous year

We all mess up, but after betrayal trauma and lies, but if an addict wants to rebuild trust, they have to be prompt about making things right. This episode covers a few techniques to make this an easier process. It also covers how Lori knows Jay’s character changed.

Episode Summary:
-Step 10 of the 12-Steps
-How to avoid the slippery slope
-One way to rewire the addicted brain

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro to Step 10 (Continuing to take a personal inventory and when I’m wrong…) / This should be done daily
2:08 One way to do this and why***

Episode Summary:
-Step 9 of the 12-Steps
-How to handle the exception written in the step
-The most sincere form of an apology
-Excuses people make to not do this step

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro to Step 9 (making direct amends)
1:28 The exception explained
2:43 One caution when you feel free afterward / Disclosure specifics

Whether it’s through betrayal, trauma, abuse or lying, addictions can cause a lot of harm. In this episode, Jay and Lori cover the first step to making it right, as well as what to do if you’re not ready to.

Episode Summary:
-Step 8 of the 12-Steps
-The first steps in making amends
-Cautions if you’re not ready to make things right
-God can change our “want to’s”

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro and explanation of Step 8: We made (this list)
2:16 “Just because I’m willing, doesn’t mean…” & Jay’s personal experience
4:16 This step isn’t about relationship—neither is…

It’d be great if God just took the desire for our addicts away, but we rarely see that in our line of work. This episode covers what to do instead, as well as special things to consider after lying and betrayal.

In this episode we cover:
-Step 7 of the 12-Steps
-What true humility looks like
-God doesn’t just take it away

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
1:38 If you have to ask about it then… / The middle part of the 12-Steps
2:22 Getting to where we’re humble enough to ask without… / It’s not like God’s going to just take it away if…
3:22 “God, you’re going to have to take it away, because I don’t want to let go of it” / Many examples of what humility looks like***

Porn addiction, betrayal and lies can wreck a couple. An addict has to be ready to release his old coping mechanisms. Jay and Lori also cover their experience with addiction and fear, as well as what surrender looks like. They also address the difference between Savior and Boss.

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro & Step 6 (Preparing for this…)
1:55 “Being entirely ready” means getting rid of ‘tools’ that help only me
3:08 Jesus appears to ask a stupid question but it applies to addicts***
4:52 But those tools have been effective in these ways…

Withholding information (also known as lying) is common, especially with porn and sex addicion. That’s why this step is crucial to healing, both for the addict, and for the one who’s been lied to and sexually betrayed.

In this episode we cover:
-Step 4 of the 12-Steps
-A searching and fearless moral inventory
-The more you write out, the more freedom you will experience

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro to Step 4: Listing where they were out of integrity (and one easier way to do this)
2:54 What to look for in a sponsor/accountability partner
3:25 Disclosure: how it’s different (t’s done with the betrayed partner’s pain in mind)

This episode covers: Step 2 of the 12 Steps / Believing in a Power greater than ourselves / The root of the problem. Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
1:09 Pornographically addicted
1:32 Step 2 – Restore me to sanity
1:59 Jay gets self-righteous
2:53 Hurt in the name of

Here’s our latest episode, which covers:
-Step 1 of the 12 Steps
-How it reflects the steps toward God
-What Jay and Lori see in their clients

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:34 What this season is based on
2:04 Step 1’s key phrases
2:27 What Jay sees with the guys he works with
3:02 A different perspective on our powerlessness
3:57 The difficulty Jay had with this step
5:35 How some addicts deal with this
6:28 The “disobedient dog” in Jay